Learning to Love

For a little while now, I've been on a journey learning how to love both myself more fully and learning how to love others in a way that is healthy for them and me.  Love is a tricky word.  Translated so differently in each language and having an "original" meaning for each person.  L-O-V-E. Why not any other word?  Why is the word "love" such an intense and sensitive word?  Have we made it that way?  So, since we can change what a word means on an individual basis, what does the word "love" mean to me? 
Love to me means acceptance and encouragement, warmth, attention, understanding, and all other things that make a person feel amazingly loved inside.  Of course, along with all those beautiful things comes frustration and tension but if one approaches both themselves and others with acceptance and understanding, I feel as if "true" love will manifest itself. 
Let us say you have a really bad day and you have a headache.  By accepting the situation for what it is and allowing yourself to feel these things while encouraging a state of not being upset, I feel as if you are truly loving yourself by allowing you to be you.  To repress such feelings is not allowing yourself to be yourself. Thus, you are not loving yourself.  You are trying to be something you obviously aren't - at that moment at least. 
Okay, now let us say one of your closest friends is extremely stressed out with life and projects so they are a huge ball of tension and stress.  You've tried talking them through it and you've tried to "make" them feel better.  Nothing seems to help.  Instead of getting upset at them/yourself, take a deep breath and just listen.  Try your hardest to understand where they are coming from.  How can one accept another for who they are if they have no idea where they are? 
This new found idea of love has completely consumed by being not only because I am learning to love myself, but I am also learning to love all others around me more fully because I want to be a light in this world.  I want both myself to feel loved and I want others to feel loved.  My goal is to make my immediate world a better place by simply loving as much as I can.
Just recently, since last October (2010), I've met the most amazing man.  His name is Brian.  I love him with all my heart and I'm falling even more in love with him each day.  Getting to know him and understanding all that makes up who he is helps me to love him even more and to be there for him.  Without understanding, love cannot be accurately aimed.  This is my recent understanding of love for both others and myself.  Therefore, like always, I've written a poem to represent these feelings and I've made a painting to go along with it all:

Loving me – Loving you

Love

Just a word

Referenced easily

Known by few

How to truly love

Attainable?

I wonder

I try

I observe

One being

And another

Navigate one to the next

Feel their warmth

Know their soul

I wonder

I try

I observe

Find a heart

Feel a connection

Falling deeper into them

To touch their lips

To understand

Tender intimacy

I feel

I love

I cherish 

 

Releasing the Past to Heal the Present

"Do whatever you want. This project is self-directed" - music to an artist's ears.  When we hear that phrase, it's like giving us the toy we've always wanted. Our eyes light up, our mind starts racing and we cannot wait to make a decision and start our next piece of art. 
The last project for my drawing 3 class was self-directed. So I decided to do a drawing of a figure using color along with writing a poem.  This combination helps me to release my past/past experiences in a way that is very healthy and effective for me.  I love taking something that is deep within me and letting it out through art.
So I wrote a poem, chose a photo that best represented what was in my head and I started.  First I painted the words to the poem in the background.  The viewer can barely see the words but they can make out some words if they really get close.  On the body, I chose to do the mark making in a way that it made the body feel like it had life to it - something is reverberating out of the figure.   She is letting go of what's inside/what's bothering her.  Along with this, I had the face and shoulders melting down towards the bottom of the page to also show a part of her melting away. 

Here's a part of the poem that goes along with this piece:

"...

My soul will always remember

What you were

What you did

How you looked

How you smelled

How you tasted

But it’s time to move on

Move onto a new equation

Made of love

Made of joy

This sweet release

That is mine

I thank you

And I go

No more wonder

No more struggle

Goodbye love

Goodbye"

Releasing the Past to Heal the Present - Acrylic, Chalk pastel, Charcoal 

A Glimpse Inside my Head RE-DO!!!

For the first time in my life I decided to re-do a drawing/piece of art.  Usually when I'm done, I am really done.  Revisiting the drawing/subject matter was difficult because I not only had to shut out others comments but I also had to let them in in order to accomplish the drawing how I wanted to.  Some of the things others said helped and some of the things others said really "hurt" my process while doing this.  I learned so much from this drawing that I think I might do it again.  Not for a while but some day I would really like to do it again...and maybe again...

A Place to Exist   (diptych)
~ Acrylic, Chalk pastel, Charcoal

 

Du-it, Cramm-it, Too Close!

In order to never forget the people close to me that inspire me/make me happy, I decided to take 3 amazing individuals I work with and create a triptych "about" them.  Throughout this process I learned a lot about myself in relation to their personality traits and I learned more about each of them along with why I love them so much.  They're honest, beautiful, kind, fun, unique, intelligent, driven, bright and deep individuals.

Du-it - Oil on panel

Cramm-it - Oil on panel 

Too Close - Oil on panel